Comfort and joy
That may be the secret to a good life…always having something important to do.
And if it doesn’t seem important, head fake yourself into thinking it is.
Find activities where you become engaged enough to lose track of time.
We writers know, when we’re deep in the process of putting the words together, time flies effortlessly and enjoyably.
Don’t underestimate the mundane
Having been married to a Portuguese and a Philippino woman I can tell you every culture has a word for those who can’t sit still.
In the United States, we call it hyperactivity or attention deficit disorder. In Tagalog, they say, “kati kati” meaning scratchy or itchy. Europeans sometimes call it hyperkinetic disorder’ (HKD).
Without delving too deep scientifically or psychologically, at least half my biological family and thus my genetic roots have what I’ll call, “can’t sit still syndrome (CSSS).
CSSS is not harmful or fatal. It simply means life has no meaning unless you’re buying a new pair of socks, underwear, towels, sheets, or pillows….and then returning them when they're cheaper at another store.
Or, alphabetizing your DVD collection which will collect dust until the second you die when your children will instantly throw them away.
Bored? Go out and buy some dental floss, or replace that can opener that never quite slices all the way through the metal top. Color coordinate your clothes.
One peculiar side effect of CSSS is an inability to throw away any food item — refrigerated or dry — ever. Minimal snooping reveals boxes of Saltine crackers from 1998, containers of mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard expired during the Carter administration, vitamins endorsed by Nadia Comaneci and Mark Spitz.
Welcome to the mind of someone with CSSS
It’s 7 am on a Saturday. Most folks in your time zone are dead asleep.
As you open your eyes, you realize there is no earthly reason to wake up with any kind of mission or purpose in your life.
You’re not rich but have enough money to pay the bills. There’s always chores, but nothing urgent. The house is pretty clean, the kids are hibernating through the day like stoned polar bears, and there is absolutely no reason to do anything at all.
Yet, you jump out of bed with the urgency of a surgeon on their way to save someone's life.
By 7:23 am, you are bathed, coiffed, nicely dressed, and start your car on an initial road to nowhere.
In my experience, hyperactive folks have an active imagination and are wonderful dreamers. We can drive around fancy neighborhoods and imagine we live there — butler, third wife, and all.
The internal mind game
For those with CSSS, only three things matter — eating, shopping, and fantasizing.
Our lives revolve around finding ways to kill time long enough to get us to our next meal.
And we celebrate every meal like it’s the last supper.
Stuffed from an enormous lunch? You can either sit on your sofa and obsess about dinner or get your ass to Walgreens and buy those 9-volt batteries, overpriced dental floss, or amazing $1 boxes of Goobers and Raisinets that you would normally pay $5 for in the movie theatre.
Then go to the mall to window shop and maybe buy a new pair of sneakers or a cool t-shirt.
That’ll getcha you to about 4 pm….so, you stop at the car wash, get a quickie oil change, and spend a half-hour teaching your elderly friend how to stop group texting their proctology results to their colleagues.
Dinner
It’s now 5:30 pm and it’s time to figure out what to do for dinner.
For someone with CSSS, dinner, is an event of such magnitude, other than the time a drunk girl called me Brad Pitt and did things I thought physically impossible, there is no greater pleasure.
The first thought is broad and ambitious — perhaps a fancy steakhouse, or gourmet Chinese, or sushi with raw tuna so fresh it melts in your mouth.
Maybe something decadent like pizza, wings, spaghetti, and beer, or a double bacon cheeseburger with crispy fries and a soda.
Part of you has an approach-avoidance conflict, knowing after you eat dinner you won’t be able to eat again for over 12 hours.
When you arrive at the restaurant to meet your friends, you feel like a 7-year-old entering the Magic Kingdom for the first time — practically giddy with euphoria. You smile widely and joke with the hostess.
Summary
If you’re the type who feels there’s no place like home and would never leave it if you didn’t have to, I salute you. I’m getting there, but my CSSS sometimes kicks in.
I’ve learned not to just randomly buy things I don’t need. I keep my shoes, socks, and underwear until they fall apart but I do spend entirely too much on dental floss and candy.
I sometimes fantasize about getting up on the weekends and feeding the needy or starting a fun business or running for political office, but my CSSS pulls me in too many directions.
So, I’ll do what other like-minded people who just can’t sit still do — pretend life is more than just getting to the next meal.
There’s more to life than sleeping and eating — there are important things to get done.
Remember, he who makes the most unnecessary trips to Walgreens, Marshalls, and the dry cleaners wins…I think it’s in the old testament.