Honest Question for Women With Checklists: At What Point Do You Settle?
What if your ideal man doesn’t exist or you can’t find him?
Granted, I’m not Gen Z, but my spin on the dating app carousel of madness found a common thread.
So many women had a particular type of man in mind and oftentimes an actual checklist that went something like this:
He must be at least 5' 10" with an athletic build and a full head of hair.
He must be educated, earn a decent living, and have the potential for career growth.
He must NOT be hooked on his ex.
He must be of the same religion.
He must be strong but not too aggressive, overbearing, controlling, or misogynistic.
He must have a supportive, caring, family.
He must be emotionally available and willing to communicate his feelings.
He must NOT have a profile picture: on a boat holding a fish, pumping iron, or otherwise posing in a gym, drinking beer, or wrestling with his buddies.
He must be open to a one-on-one relationship that potentially leads to marriage.
He must be sexy and romantic and not expect sex on the first date.
For women who have these checklists, at what point do you give a short, bald, beer guzzling, working class, emotionally unavailable man a chance?
At what point do you think to yourself….the perfect man might not exist?
I know, you think a man’s checklist looks like this:
She must be attractive.
She must be willing to have sex….preferably on the first date.
Does anyone else see a disconnect here?
I know, I’m generalizing.
I know, I’m stereotyping.
But I’m genuinely curious how many single folks out there have consciously and purposefully violated their relationship conditions in order to open up a wider pool of possibilities.
That is: Dating someone shorter or taller than your comfort zone.
Dating outside your race or religion.
Dating someone you know your friends and family will not approve of.
Am I wrong to think many women have pigeonholed themselves into a dating corner where there a so few men who can meet their qualifications, that they end up with nobody?
Are all men shallow, sex-crazed, assholes?
Maybe it’s time we let go of our preconceived, rigid, notions of what our one, true, soulmate is going to look like and how they’re going to behave?
Go ahead and date outside your comfort zone.
Throw caution to the wind and give that beer-chugging atheist a chance to prove himself.
Some of us will find the prince or princess of our dreams — the one who checks all the boxes.
But many of us won’t.
And then what?
A life of solitude and a bunch of would-have, could-haves, should-haves.
Try this out for a checklist:
Find someone with some mutual attraction.
Make sure they have a pulse.
Seriously, it’s worth a try!