Managing Temptation
Food, drugs, sex, social media, video games, and money…when just a little isn't enough
It’s a miracle we’re not all sex and drug addicts.
What feels better in life than drinking or doing some drugs and having sex with someone in that blurry state of blissful, euphoric, super-buzzed, comfortable sedation?
Like an exotic animal.
Does anything taste better than a tangy, gooey, cheesy slice of NY pizza, a banana split, or a fresh, warm baguette dripping in butter?
And who doesn’t occasionally poop or pee in their pants while playing video games so they don’t have to leave their consoles? Wetting pants while playing video games | ADISC.org — The AB/DL/IC Support Community
Money is pretty addicting too.
How much money?
Enough to indulge your wildest dreams……...meaning never enough.
If having hundreds of billions of dollars doesn’t satiate your desire for even more money (see: Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg) it strikes me as a losing internal battle to think any of us will ever have enough.
Yet we all desperately want to accumulate wealth, particularly in these inflationary times.
Extraordinary temptations surround us.
Here’s my trajectory…
FOOD:
I love to eat so much that if there ever was such a thing as ‘suicide by sundae’…. I’d be tempted.
From my early pre-teen years, I could eat enormous amounts of food.
In late high school, vanity helped me go on a strict diet, and then I learned enough about calories and nutrition to play the game we all play — every single day of our lives — trying not to eat more than we should.
All I know is that at the age of 38 — having lost and gained 35 pounds several times — I developed a little voice in my head that overrode my desire to have a super-sized double whopper with enough french fries to kill a small mammal….and, over the past 20 years, I’ve white knuckled my way through endless buffets, pizza parties, weddings, sporting events, workplace potlucks, birthdays, reunions, and holidays centered around eating, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, and Halloween.
I still have trouble with Halloween….so much candy; so little time.
This morning I weighed 157 pounds buck-naked.
160 is my “cut off,” weight.
So, instead of panicking, starving myself, or trying to quickly drop 5 or 10 pounds, I accept I’m a little chubby for my liking and muster up enough self-control to resist the appetizers, drink more water, or walk away from the table….or look myself straight in the eye, and say, “You fat, disgusting pig. You will not stuff your face with a single bite more. Do something else with your hands.”
I usually listen to myself.
Sometimes I don’t.
Time will tell…..
DRUGS and SEX
Sexual addiction is not something I need to worry about since it involves actually having sex.
But when it comes to drugs, here’s my history…
At 13, I tried a cigarette. At 16, I was smoking half a pack a day.
Becoming addicted to nicotine was a slow burn for me — physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
I remember distinctly fighting the urge to smoke and swearing I would never get addicted…..but little by little, 2 cigarettes a week turned into 2 a day, then 10 a day…and by the time I went to college, it was close to a pack a day.
In my senior year of college, I quit for over a year but took smoking up again in graduate school.
At 28, having smoked for over 10 years, I moved to Florida, quit smoking, gained 35 pounds, but never took up tobacco again.
POT
I truly believe — for some, not all — cannabis is a safe, natural, antidepressant…in the sense that it can greatly reduce anxiety, and fear, and change someone’s whole psychological disposition and perspective about what matters in life….melting away our troubles and leaving us with a profoundly calm, comfortable, confident, and secure disposition.
I suspect antidepressants have a similar effect, in that they manipulate and transform thoughts, feelings, and emotions that provoke anxiety and fear into light fluffy clouds of nothingness.
You come home from work as anxious as a coiled spring because your boss threatened you, your stomach hurts, you’re running low on money, and you feel despondent, depressed, and disillusioned….and you light up a fattie, smoke it down, and suddenly all those worries fade away and your left with a steely, slightly numb, deep feeling that everything in your life…and the whole world…is going to be okay.
Some people slam down a few beers or martinis to unwind and let go of their troubles and worries.
Some people can’t function unless they're stoned.
Some people can’t function…..period.
Some people are strictly high on life, never touching drugs, or alcohol, or engaging in high-risk behaviors.
Someday we’ll better understand our triggers and why it’s so difficult to resist temptation.
Until then, I generally subscribe to the philosophy of “whatever gets you through the night,” since we’re all sinners and just want to feel good and enjoy this only life.
To be clear, I’m not shifting the Overton window on drugs and alcohol.
The best life — I believe most of us will agree — is a life without drugs or alcohol, finding healthy ways to reduce our anxiety while increasing our pleasure.
But sunsets, rainbows, and puppies aren’t enough for most of us.
We have temptations.
Maybe advanced technology will afford our children and grandchildren peaceful, dignified, and comfortable lives without the need or desire for external chemicals, molecules, and inhalibles.
Until then, the best most of us can do, is muster up as much self-control and discipline as we can, while enjoying every minute of every day.
I say follow your bliss, as long as you’re not hurting anybody.
Life is for the living.
Well said , Jon and thanks for the uncompromising honesty.